Day 21: I would rather not have known.

Expressing yourself is extremely hard when there is an excess amount of information being thrown at you, much being demanded of you, and many emotions being experienced all at once. My life has changed tremendously since my last post, but I feel somehow that though much more ignorant, I was much less lost than I am now. I can now effectively use the phrase “ignorance is bliss” to describe my experiences over the past few months, as had I not known much of the things I had to learn, my mind would be much more at peace.
Though I preach the positives of not knowing…it is my very own curiosity that has caused my downfall many many times, and I realize, my human nature will never allow me to exist in peace. If the things I want to know the most are the things that tear me apart…why do I crave these pieces of information? …to say things like “at least I know now”.
Yes, our very own minds trick us into believing that the comfort of knowing, though it will never change the reality, is much better than being completely ignorant to the existence of the fact. Seem familiar?
I don’t even want to get into socialization and how we are programmed to act, think, feel in specific “socially acceptable” manners, but sociology has made me question so many of my own actions and feelings…
It has all come down to myself becoming very cynical and a little jaded when it comes to human interaction. Its hard for me to hold on to my enthusiasm for people when I know their selfish intentions before even a word is spoken. I hope that you yourself remain ignorant, and keep your enthusiasm.
-S. Fearless



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